Date #3: Maybe This Is God's Divine Way Of Telling Me To Be Sober

What is it they say? You know how much fun you had the night before by how much you regret it the morning after?

Actually, I'm pretty sure I just made that up this morning as I was praying to the porcelain gods, but hey- sometimes you have to tell yourself whatever it takes to feel better.

And boy, do I feel pretty horrible. If it's any testament to how hungover and sick I've been feeling all day, just look at these facts: It's a Saturday night. I'm at home, double fisting my laptop, and Playstation 2 controller. I'm 22. It's a SATURDAY NIGHT and I'M AT HOME. This is a sad evening.

But again, as I started off saying- you know it was a good night the evening before when...

Last night began with me going to a little Mexican restaurant on the other side of town with my friend, Joe (no, not my dating coach, Joe, but another friend named Joe. As this blog goes on, I suspect you will discover that I have multiple "Joe" friends, and will even be going on dates with some of them). A local musician that had just added me to Facebook last night was playing there, so Joe and I went to have a margarita, chips and salsa and check him out. He was really good, by the way, and pretty cute, so I'm thinking I should get to know him and add him to the list ;)

Afterwards, we stopped back at my house, where my roommates were having a little shindig. I had a few beers with them and then AK texted me telling me he was heading downtown. One of my friends dropped me off at the Irish pub, and I met up with AK and a few of his friends.

Now, AK and I met on New Years Eve, when I was still semi-seeing IS, no less. Anyway, he and I hit it off and have been planning to meet up on various weekends since, but just never connected. Last night was the first time we hung out since New Years and it was a lot of fun. He's an easy guy to hang out with and I had a lot of laughs (and a lot of beers, hence my sorry state today) with him and his friends.

We ended up bar hopping a bit, and then I called it an early night (well, early for me- I went home around 1:30 or so), and fell asleep on the couch next to my roommate while he watched some weird anime movie.

If you're wondering about the lack of details here, it's because, frankly, the night went by in a haze of colorful lights, loud music, and beer. When I woke up this morning, I had a pounding headache, felt tired and disoriented, and then jumped out of my bed, clutching my stomach and heading straight for the toilet to puke. Thank God my bathroom is attached to my bedroom.

Anyway, as far as AK goes, I do like him. He's the kind of guy I can see myself with- smart (a fellow Journalist too!), funny, and cute. I do feel a sort of "friend" vibe around him, however; like, he's someone I'll end up being good friends with but never actually dating. Tat's fine, too, I love making new friends. And anyway- I'm sure he won't want to date me right now, when I've got 49 other guys lined up.

Speaking of which, I'm going back to my hometown of Sacramento, California next week to visit my family and friends I went to high school with. If you think this means I'm taking a break from dating, you'd be wrong. Like Dating Coach Joe would really let me do that anyway ;)

I've got two dates lined up- one extra to make up for the week when I was sick with a cold. I e-mailed them both, asking them out, since they don't live in town and didn't even know I'd be coming or how long I'd be staying. One of them, MB, wrote me back this morning saying he'd love to go out on Saturday, so that should be fun. I had a sort of thing for him during this summer, but I haven't actually seen him since high school, so it should be interesting.

The other, CA, hasn't replied yet, but I see no reason why he wouldn't want to go out- he and I have maintained a somewhat good long distance friendship, and he saw me post about how I'm coming back to Sac and said he was very excited to catch up, so now we'll be doing so on a more intimate level.

I have to admit that lately I've been feeling some doubts about whether or not I can pull off this whole 52 dates thing. Not from lack of planning- because, as I said in the last post, Joe and I have mapped out my next dates all the way through August. But, I guess it's been a rough week for my self-esteem; I've just been feeling sort of down, and then I have to deal with IS posting douche-y things on Facebook (which aren't about me directly, but I just seem to get upset or angry anytime I have to see him- even online!).

On my thirty minute drive to and from work, my mind often wanders to this idea and I start wondering if I'm crazy. I'm nothing special, really. I'm pretty- sure, but I'm no beauty queen. I'm not a size two. I don't have long blonde hair, or sparkling green eyes. I'm not complaining about any of these thngs, really- I do like myself, and so do the tons of other people who love me. But my mind often starts doubting the idea, and I start thinking, "Maybe you're in over your head. You're just an ordinary girl."

And it's true. I'm just an ordinary person. I'm nothing incredibly special. But the thing I realized- and this applies to everyone, even whoever you are, reading this right now- is that yes, I'm completely ordinary.

But me being completely ordinary doesn't stop me from having an extraordinary life.

And this is my extraordinary moment. And I'm going to go for it. After all, we only have one life. Why not live it with the volume turned all the way up?

Date #2.5: The Date That Never Was...

...So.

Well.

Yeeeeeeah.

I messed up again. Well, not exactly. I know you're reading this, thinking, "Brittany, you got some 'splaining to do!" but I have an extremely understandable and valid excuse as to why I have not gone on Date #3 yet.

I've been on my deathbed.

Well, not literally, of course. I'm not updating this blog from a hospital bed, or anything. But it sure as hell has felt like I've been on the verge of dying.

The day after going out with DF, I felt a tiny itch in my throat- nothing serious. I ignored it, and continued playing Super Mario Bros on Wii with my friends. The next day, I was visiting my mom at her house, and I started sneezing a lot. I ignored it too; it was probably just the weather changing, nothing serious. Come Tuesday at work, and I've got a full on cold- runny nose, coughing, sneezing, watering eyes, etc.

Now, I work at an elementary school, around tons of germy kids and am prone to infections; I get sick at least once a month, generally. So even though I was sick, I pretty much chalked it up to my bi-monthly case of the something-or-the-other and let it go. As the week progressed, however, I started dragging into work and found myself literally exhausted to the point where I just went straight home and went to bed- which, if you know me, is incredibly out of character. Anyway, the week went on and Friday arrived and my 52 First Dates were the very last thing on my mind.

Funnily enough, I found myself bowling with a group of friends on Friday night, and AK- one of the possible dates I was thinking of for #3- texted me asking if I was downtown and if I wanted to meet up with him. Unfortunately, I was not downtown, nor was I in the...*ahem*...condition to get there, so I suggested we go out the next night. Viola! I had Date #3 planned!

Except...

...epic failure on my end.

I totally flaked on AK, as I spent most of the day in bed, went to sushi with my best friend for dinner and then went back to bed at 7pm, because I was still deathly sick and had completely lost my voice.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, my friends. I got together with Joe (my "dating coach") at Starbucks tonight and not only did we plan out the next 30 dates all the way up to September, but I also talked to AK and made plans to go out for drinks on Friday. I will make up the date that I missed last week by going out on TWO dates next week (while I'm in my hometown of Sacramento, California, visiting family and friends), and all will be well- trust me!

And if it's not, and I end up being a date short, you'll still forgive me, right?

I hope so ;) Anyway, stay tuned for Date #3 with AK. I'll probably post on Saturday morning and let you all know how it went. Wish me luck!

Date #2: Why Do The Good Girls Always Want The Bad Boys?

Okay, let me first admit that I really messed up this week. I can make up a bunch of excuses, and some of them are quite valid- like, I was busy working, and hanging out with a new group of awesome friends (courtesy of my most recent ex, IS (who I will always refer to by initials)- I hate to say that I "stole" his friends, but let’s be honest, I kinda did), having horrible migraines, and basically completely putting my 52 First Dates project on the backburner.

Fast forward to Thursday afternoon, and I'm calling Joe, having a mini-freak out session because it's a day till the weekend and I still had NO date lined up. I have plenty of prospects, of course, but I had been so "busy" that I hadn't thought to network or ask any of these prospects if they wanted to go out this weekend. Well, that wasn't true- I had talked to AK, a cute guy that I met on New Year’s Eve, but he had to work all weekend. So there I was, a day before the weekend without date number 2.

Joe told me to calm down and ask one of my most recent prospects, BT, if he'd want to go out during the weekend. I happened to see BT on Thursday night, but I completely chickened out (even though we had a lot of fun together) and then, next thing you know, it was Friday and I still had NO date. Oh noes!

Finally, Friday morning at work, I knew I would have to resort to one of my backups. So, I texted my "backup" date, DF, and asked him if he'd like to go and see a movie on Saturday. He seemed thrilled and then added, "Let's make it dinner AND a movie."

First, let me give you a bit of a back story on DF. He and I have been friends since high school, though we have never been in a relationship. We've always kept in touch and have gone on several dates throughout the years...dinner and movies, lunch, etc. DF is complete gentlemen and probably one of the nicest guys I know. He's mature, has a great relationship with God, works full time and makes good money, is in the process of buying his own house, and is basically Mr. Perfect.

So I’m sure you’re wondering why I haven’t snagged him up yet, and why, instead he has been dubbed as a “backup date.”

I’ve been wondering the same thing, really. But more on that later.

Anyway, DF was super excited about our date on Saturday and told me so various times throughout the day on Friday. Saturday started off with me going on the Wine Walk (a wine tasting event held downtown once a month), and after stopping at 20 places and chugging wine, I was incredibly drunk and unable to go anywhere, let alone on a date in two hours. I texted DF again and explained my inebriated situation, and- per his kind and understanding nature- he told me he'd be fine postponing the date until Sunday, and even offered to come and pick me up from downtown, if I needed a ride. At one point, I showed one of my friend's a sweet text DF had sent me and yelled (in the middle of the packed gay bar, mind you), "He's so perfect! Why do I end up dating douches, and not nice guys like him?"

Sunday arrived and I luckily had no hangover. DF (ever the gentleman) drove over to my house and picked me up so we could have dinner. We went to sushi, because apparently, everyone in Reno loves sushi, and I'm no exception. Dinner was nice- we talked about random things, like the fact that his ex-girlfriend (a mutual friend of ours) was eloping that very day, our goals for 2010, and then, worst of all, DF's subtle hints that he liked me.

"I'm really shy when it comes to asking people out," he said at least twice. "Even if I really like a girl, I might not ask her out, because I'm so shy."

"Oh."

I think he was waiting for me to say, "You should just tell her!”, “Oh, DF…I like you too!” or something similar- I mean, I went through this same thing- him liking me, not having the courage to ask me out, and constantly hinting about it- for three years with one of my exes. But, first of all, I'm planning to date 50 other guys this year. And second of all, DF is too good for me.

Not in that way- don't worry, I'm not one of those girls with low self-esteem. But DF is too GOOD for me. He's too pure, too sweet, too innocent, almost. Not saying that I'm some wanton slut, but...well, for example, DF and I started talking about his ex-girlfriend (who was also his only girlfriend), and he was saying the relationship had gone too far physically, because they made out a few times.

Uh?

And I know that sounds petty, and it's obviously not just that, but sometimes, I feel like DF and I are on other planets. His moral standards are different from mine, and that would probably present some problems should we ever date.

On the other hand, maybe a guy like DF is just what I need. I like to take things slow, so DF would do me one better and wouldn't take things anywhere at all- unless until we were married. On paper, he's the ideal guy- kind, sweet, smart, religious, mature, driven, etc. He's the perfect guy.

He's TOO perfect. Maybe that's the thing.

Anyway, after dinner, we went to the movies and saw Sherlock Holmes, which was amazing. I'm kinda…a little bit...okay, totally...in love with Robert Downey Jr. I wonder if he's free for a date?

DF took me home and hugged me goodnight, and I went inside, futilely wondering yet again, why can't I just fall for a guy like him? Is there something wrong with me? Do I only fall for douche bags? Am I more attracted to the guy that clearly has issues and I'll have a crazy, rollercoaster relationship with? Why can't I date the sweet guy who will take me to church on Sunday, and then to dinner afterwards?

Ugh. Well, the main reason for these 52 dates is to see if I find someone perfect for me- someone I'm compatible with and could fall in love with at some point. I guess I could fall in love with DF, and maybe after 15 more dates or something, I'll realize how good I could have it with someone as good as him.

Until then, 50 more dates to go...

Date #1: Send The Godzilla Rolls To Cell Block C, Please...

I was talking to one of my friends about my 52 upcoming dates, and she suggested that I make a corresponding list of lessons or dating rules that I've gained from each experience.

So, for date number one, perhaps the rule should be, "Rule number one of dating: Never, on a first date, talk about your experiences in prison."

Okay, I should be fair. AT (as I will refer to my date) and I have known each other for a few years. We went to high school together, and I've been better friends with his cousin as the years went on. Anyway, a few weeks ago, he suggested that we go out, but I was still seeing my most recent ex, and wasn't really looking for anything with anyone else. When things ended between he and I, and I decided to do the 52 dates, I figured that I should finally go out with AT- at least it would be a good starting point.

Now, AT and I haven't seen each other in at least two years, so I had no idea what to expect. My Saturday started off with my phone being broken, so there was a chance that I might not even go out with him at all. I had just gotten a phone from my mom and gotten everything sorted and turned back on when AT called me to make sure we were still on for the evening. We discussed going to sushi (my favorite!), and I told him that I'd meet him at the sushi restaurant at 5:30. He asked if he could pick me up, which I thought was very gentlemanly of him, and I agreed and then went home to get ready.

AT was prompt picking me up and waited for me at his car. As I said, I haven't seen him in two years, and he seemed pleasantly surprised at his first look at me. I wasn't wearing anything too fancy- just a pair of dark jeans, black ballet flats, and a purple shirt that's somewhat low-cut but has a frilly design around the cleavage line. I wore light makeup and had my hair down, and I did have to agree that I looked pretty darn cute tonight. He wasn't dressed up, exactly, but he did wear a button-down shirt and dark slacks and looked nice as well. AT's black, which, if you know me, is rare- it's not that I don't date black men (what kind of reverse racism would that be?!), but there's just not many in Reno, nor are there many that I know or that have the same interests as me. However, I'm attracted to all sorts of guys and AT is attractive, and tall, which is always a plus for me. He's not my typical "type" necessarily, but he's a good looking guy for sure.

Anyway, he opened the door for me and I got inside and we started heading to the sushi restaurant. I wasn't particularly nervous, as I expect I will be on the next dates; I've known AT for at least six years, so it wasn't anything too nerve-wrecking to be going out with him. That being said, I felt the need to quickly fill any potential awkward silences by asking him several questions as soon as we started driving. I would soon learn to regret that.

"Nice car! Is this the same one you had before?" Yes, it was.

I asked him if he had worked that day. He had. I asked him if he liked his job. It was okay; at the least, it paid the bills. And then, I asked him the obvious- what have you been doing in the past two years? I was surprised with his answer.

"Well, I've been in and out of jail."

Erm...well...huh. Okay. Of course, his cousin, whom I had regularly kept in touch with, had told me about that, but I hadn't really heard any of the details. And it was a bit odd to hear AT speak about it so casually, and right at the beginning of our night, no less. He went on to explain in full detail how he had embezzled from his job back in 2007, which got him fired and sent to jail. And the past two years between now and then he's been in and out of jail for breaking his probation rules. He also explained how he has to go to a special drug rehab program (though he's not on drugs, he assured me) in order to fulfill the court's orders. Right.

Well, I have to give him credit for being honest, right? I mean, recently, I've met a lot of dishonest guys, so at least AT got the baggage right out there from the beginning. He explained that though he's been through these recent hardships, he's trying to straighten up- he's got a legitimate job, has his own car and is planning to move out of the halfway house (yes, halfway house) that he lives in now and move in with a roommate.

You know, I'm not one to judge. Everyone goes through rough times, and as long as you learn something from it and turn it around, which I think AT is on the road to doing, then more power to you. Though I did have to snark, when he asked me what I've been doing for two years, "Not going to jail."

The actual date itself was nice. We got all-you-can-eat sushi at my favorite restaurant and had pretty fluid conversation, which included our romantic entanglements for the past two years, mutual friends, family, our ideal locations, and the movie "Avatar". We finished up after about an hour and a half, and then I mentioned that I had plans with friends after dinner (and his curfew at the halfway house is 11pm...even on weekends), so he took me home.

I invited him inside to show him around my house, because, well, my house is pretty cool, and then he hugged me goodnight a few times and suggested that we go see a movie soon, as we had both discussed having not seen "Sherlock Holmes" yet during dinner. I told him that we should, though I didn't bother explaining the whole 52 dates thing yet.

I found it hard to tell him that was my plan after he was already taking me out to dinner, though for some reason, I had no problem going into detail about my most recent ex and why that failed. Way to make things awkward, Britt.

All in all, though, the date wasn't bad. Despite AT's brutal honesty about his...er...adventures in jail...I enjoyed his company and he was fun and easy to talk to, plus he kept flirtingly teasing me, which I'm always a fan of. The 52 dates concept aside, I'm not sure if I would continue to date AT or not; I don't feel any remarkable chemistry between us, and Lord knows the last thing I need is another guy who has life issues to sort out, but it was still an enjoyable time. Plus, I got to have sushi, which is like the best meal, ever.

One down, 51 more dates to go, eh?

The verdict is still out on my date for next week. I, surprisingly, have several options. I met a guy on New Years Eve who seemed interested and we were supposed to hang out last night, but then my phone broke, so I'll never know if he texted me or not. I'm thinking that I might Facebook him this week and ask him if he'd like to take me out.

Or, I met another guy just this Thursday night, who also asked for my number, so he could possibly be date number two. I also have another guy friend, whom I've gone on a few dates with in the past, that could be number two.

I'll decide who the lucky guy is by Wednesday. Though, if he's just gotten out of prison, I might have to pass.

The Preamble

Well, here goes nothing. Or everything. Depending on which way this thing ends.

I guess I could start out by introducing myself some. My name is Brittany and I'm 22 years old. I live in the Biggest Little City In The World. I'm a Journalism major. I work as a teacher's aide in a special education classroom. I love spending time with my friends and family, going to movies, writing, and listening to music. I'm charming, funny, kind, passionate, smart, pretty, well-endowed, artistic, well read, and romantic.

My friends are constantly telling me all the above things, of course. How wonderful I am. How great of a catch I am. How I'm going to meet a guy one day and it'll be absolutely perfect- yet, here I am, as single as a one dollar bill.

It hasn't always been this way, of course. I've had my fair share of dates, and a handful of boyfriends. But, well, they've all failed somewhat miserably. I'll do a quick recap of my dating history, so you know where I'm coming from. I've dated:

- A boy with racist parents, who threatened to move him back to his hometown just for dating me, a black girl.

- A boy who later turned out to be homosexual.

- A boy, whom from the very start, was planning to break up with me because he was in love with someone else- God. We ended things for him to go into the Priesthood, but six months later, it turned out that he was also homosexual. He is now my very best friend.

- A playwright from Seattle, whom I had a long distance relationship with and found out after I had lost my virginity to him that he had a girlfriend in town the whole time. He later left us both (me and the girlfriend that he had cheated on to be with me) for his best friend, whom he was apparently in love with all along. Right.

- A travelling musician, whom gave me his number after one of his shows. We had an amazing night together (yes, it was PG...well, okay, maybe R-rated), tried to keep in touch, but I ended things with him upon realizing that I didn't want a boyfriend who likely slept with other women on a nightly basis and would only be in town once a year.

And of course, a handful of others that simply aren't amusing enough to bother mentioning.

So, considering my dating history above, you can see why I was a bit weary to date anyone. I mean, the last two guys, alone, were in 2009- and I also casually dated a handful of others that ended in epic failure. But, my friend, Joe, told me over sushi that my problem is that I simply commit too fast and that I don't date enough. I settle for the first guy that comes along, forgetting all the other shiny, multi-colored fish in the sea that I could be swimming with.

He could be right. Hell if I know. Obviously, if I knew why I fail at dating, I'd fix it and be happily married right now. But I digress.

So, right there, at the sushi bar, Joe dared me to the challenge of my life: There's 52 weeks in a year. I would go on a date with a new guy each week. 52 dates. 52 different guys. No commitments whatsoever. I could re-date a guy, if I was interested in him, but he couldn't count as one of the 52 again. I added my own rule: nothing physical either, besides kissing (because, come on- even if I cut the number in half, 26 guys in a year is DISGUSTING. And I'm many things, but not quite that kind of girl).

Upon starting this blog and looking for domain names, I realized that this idea has been before. However- no one has been successful, as far as I can tell. The other daters stopped at date 18, or so, and never updated again. And maybe I won't be successful either- it's only week one and I'm already getting cold feet. But I feel like I have to do this.

First of all, I've already told tons of people about it, and I'm going to feel really embarassed come February when I haven't already gone on at least 5 dates. Secondly, as Joe (who has officially become my "dating coach") pointed out- this is a great chance for me to scour the "sea" and find what guys there may or may not be for me. And third, if all else fails, and I make it to the end of the year and still don't have the man of my dreams, I've still successfully finished something and I have a feeling this blog could be published into a book and made into a movie. And then I'll be famous, and won't have to worry about being single, because I'll be going to bed in my fancy mansion every night and my bags of money will keep me adequate company and won't leave the toilet seat up.

Er...after all, the woman who wrote Julie & Julia did it. Why can't I?

So here we go. Date numero uno is on Saturday. I'll post about it Sunday. And so it goes. Wish me luck, and if you know any guys (they must be at least 21, and of course, single), send them my way. I only need 51 more to make it to the end of the year.

-Serial Dater, Britt