Date #3: Maybe This Is God's Divine Way Of Telling Me To Be Sober

What is it they say? You know how much fun you had the night before by how much you regret it the morning after?

Actually, I'm pretty sure I just made that up this morning as I was praying to the porcelain gods, but hey- sometimes you have to tell yourself whatever it takes to feel better.

And boy, do I feel pretty horrible. If it's any testament to how hungover and sick I've been feeling all day, just look at these facts: It's a Saturday night. I'm at home, double fisting my laptop, and Playstation 2 controller. I'm 22. It's a SATURDAY NIGHT and I'M AT HOME. This is a sad evening.

But again, as I started off saying- you know it was a good night the evening before when...

Last night began with me going to a little Mexican restaurant on the other side of town with my friend, Joe (no, not my dating coach, Joe, but another friend named Joe. As this blog goes on, I suspect you will discover that I have multiple "Joe" friends, and will even be going on dates with some of them). A local musician that had just added me to Facebook last night was playing there, so Joe and I went to have a margarita, chips and salsa and check him out. He was really good, by the way, and pretty cute, so I'm thinking I should get to know him and add him to the list ;)

Afterwards, we stopped back at my house, where my roommates were having a little shindig. I had a few beers with them and then AK texted me telling me he was heading downtown. One of my friends dropped me off at the Irish pub, and I met up with AK and a few of his friends.

Now, AK and I met on New Years Eve, when I was still semi-seeing IS, no less. Anyway, he and I hit it off and have been planning to meet up on various weekends since, but just never connected. Last night was the first time we hung out since New Years and it was a lot of fun. He's an easy guy to hang out with and I had a lot of laughs (and a lot of beers, hence my sorry state today) with him and his friends.

We ended up bar hopping a bit, and then I called it an early night (well, early for me- I went home around 1:30 or so), and fell asleep on the couch next to my roommate while he watched some weird anime movie.

If you're wondering about the lack of details here, it's because, frankly, the night went by in a haze of colorful lights, loud music, and beer. When I woke up this morning, I had a pounding headache, felt tired and disoriented, and then jumped out of my bed, clutching my stomach and heading straight for the toilet to puke. Thank God my bathroom is attached to my bedroom.

Anyway, as far as AK goes, I do like him. He's the kind of guy I can see myself with- smart (a fellow Journalist too!), funny, and cute. I do feel a sort of "friend" vibe around him, however; like, he's someone I'll end up being good friends with but never actually dating. Tat's fine, too, I love making new friends. And anyway- I'm sure he won't want to date me right now, when I've got 49 other guys lined up.

Speaking of which, I'm going back to my hometown of Sacramento, California next week to visit my family and friends I went to high school with. If you think this means I'm taking a break from dating, you'd be wrong. Like Dating Coach Joe would really let me do that anyway ;)

I've got two dates lined up- one extra to make up for the week when I was sick with a cold. I e-mailed them both, asking them out, since they don't live in town and didn't even know I'd be coming or how long I'd be staying. One of them, MB, wrote me back this morning saying he'd love to go out on Saturday, so that should be fun. I had a sort of thing for him during this summer, but I haven't actually seen him since high school, so it should be interesting.

The other, CA, hasn't replied yet, but I see no reason why he wouldn't want to go out- he and I have maintained a somewhat good long distance friendship, and he saw me post about how I'm coming back to Sac and said he was very excited to catch up, so now we'll be doing so on a more intimate level.

I have to admit that lately I've been feeling some doubts about whether or not I can pull off this whole 52 dates thing. Not from lack of planning- because, as I said in the last post, Joe and I have mapped out my next dates all the way through August. But, I guess it's been a rough week for my self-esteem; I've just been feeling sort of down, and then I have to deal with IS posting douche-y things on Facebook (which aren't about me directly, but I just seem to get upset or angry anytime I have to see him- even online!).

On my thirty minute drive to and from work, my mind often wanders to this idea and I start wondering if I'm crazy. I'm nothing special, really. I'm pretty- sure, but I'm no beauty queen. I'm not a size two. I don't have long blonde hair, or sparkling green eyes. I'm not complaining about any of these thngs, really- I do like myself, and so do the tons of other people who love me. But my mind often starts doubting the idea, and I start thinking, "Maybe you're in over your head. You're just an ordinary girl."

And it's true. I'm just an ordinary person. I'm nothing incredibly special. But the thing I realized- and this applies to everyone, even whoever you are, reading this right now- is that yes, I'm completely ordinary.

But me being completely ordinary doesn't stop me from having an extraordinary life.

And this is my extraordinary moment. And I'm going to go for it. After all, we only have one life. Why not live it with the volume turned all the way up?